I bought this particular ‘Life is Good’ T-shirt several years ago when my kiddos were younger because it summed up one of our favorite family values: enjoying a meal around the table as often as possible. It was and still is one of our most common practices and routines. Our kids are young adults now but still live at home. They have more responsibilities outside of the home these days, but the one thing that will bring us together is a shared meal. It is not uncommon for me to hear on a daily basis, “what’s for dinner?”
During this recent Corona pandemic, I keep imagining multitudes of families spending their days cooped up together in their homes. I know that can be a hard adjustment when we are so used to the various events and activities that create a rich ebb and flow of our times apart and times together. The truth is it’s fun and fulfilling to spend time coming together and sharing about what you did when you were away. But for now, we have a new normal. I will have to say that it does bring a smile to my face when I think about how often families have the chance for a “value meal.” Whether that is something that you have cultivated in the past, you have the opportunity now to make the most of the time you have with your family. Creating or reinforcing as many routines and connections with each other as possible is one of the keys to keeping our sanity while we are limited in our choices.
Breaking bread and eating together can provide security and connection within a family unit far more than other structured and more complicated activities. I am not disparaging other activities. They are needed too. But since we all have to eat – multiple times a day – why not allow that time to look each other in the eye and communicate directly and indirectly that each family member matters and that coming together provides a strength to endure the hardships through the joy of being together? It can give an anchor to each day.
The experts tell us that the strongest, most connected families spend regular times eating a meal together most days of the week. No phones, no technology. Letting conversation surface through the rhythm of eating. You may have to be intentional at first to generate the types of conversations and topics that you want or don’t want to be part of table talk. The tone you set will provide the backdrop for ongoing interactions and help you to redirect if someone attempts to derail the time together. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that hard conversations or deep questions are restricted. The goal is that they are handled with respect and acceptance so that mealtimes are a safe connector, not a divider. You can even determine if certain questions or topics may be better handled at a separate time if they are threatening the goals of eating together. In my experience, even if other family interactions have been tense throughout the day, you can still find joy in the food itself and the predictability of the rhythm.
Jesus regularly shared meals with friends, strangers, and enemies. Sometimes it was just to obtain the fuel for sustaining life. Other times, for the joy of interpersonal connection. Many times, the Bible tells us that the sharing of a meal was the launching point for Jesus to teach, reinforce, or correct. Why not take the opportunity to be like Jesus? To utilize the necessity of consuming food to make the most of our time with the tribe with whom we are sequestered? Who knows? You may end up with a whole new definition of a “Value Meal!”
In a broader sense than mealtime, I think it’s vital to take a serious look at what habits have changed during this quarantine. What are some of the beneficial rhythms that have surfaced that you want to maintain and hold onto far into the future? What are you now going to continue to make time for and protect? How will you evaluate what has changed you and your family for the good? We have a chance to reestablish how we live out our values and spend our time. Let’s make sure we give this thought before we find ourselves drifting into old patterns and wishing for more time together when life picks back up.
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