Growing up, I didn’t know it, but our family was a little different than other families. I know that probably doesn’t come as a shock to many, but I’m not just referring to our quirks and idiosyncrasies. For a while, in my formative years, there were at least 3 boys running around our house, and we didn’t all look the same. My parents were foster parents for a season.
I am the 2nd of two biological sons, born to my parents just a couple years apart. But for over 3 years, I had a younger, darker brother – I’ll call him Anton here. In flipping through photo albums I can still be transported back to those days when the three of us would roughhouse around the family room, wrestling and hugging and playing who-knows-what, having a grand old time! One picture that is etched in my mind captures the unbridled joys of boyhood, a mass of tangled limbs and smiles in an over-stuffed chair, laughing and holding each other without a care in the world.
Of course, we were naïve… There were cares in the world. The early to mid-70s were not exactly years of harmony. Our country was still in the throes of the Vietnam war, Watergate and Richard Nixon’s impeachment was headline news, and it was just a few short years after the assassination of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Although the country seemed to be starting to make some progress with civil rights and racial justice, things were far from harmonious. And Anton’s life had its own struggles. He’d lost his mother for a time as she worked through her own issues in that season. He was displaced, living with us until she could qualify to have him back. Things were far from ideal. But as children we didn’t know it. We just liked being together. I have fond memories of those years.
Over the years, several others boys of various ages and circumstances and skin tones came to live in our home as my parents fostered them for a time.
The more I’ve reflected on those memories, and in light of what I now know of those tense years in our country, I’ve begun to realize how counter-cultural my parents were in the early 70s. From what I understand, they were looking for a way to serve God and others, and were led toward the foster care system. They were literally licensed, in 1974, to keep “preschool-aged black boys.” I’m not sure how many other white, middle-class families were doing that!
All of that in my past laid a foundation in my life that I’m not sure I’ve fully recognized, but has shaped my life and identity. About 25 years later, Rebecca and I intentionally put ourselves on a list of parents who were willing to adopt African-American or bi-racial babies. From my understanding, that was a rather short list at the time (and still is). Because we did, we’ve had the privilege of being known as “Nick’s Parents” for the past 19 years, a half-Hispanic, half-black boy, which has been a blessing beyond compare!
So today, with all of that in the background, I’m watching very real and painful current events… Events where a white man and his son hunted down a black man and shot him with a shotgun… Where white police officers smothered the life from a black man as onlookers pled for mercy… Where the many systemic inequities of our country and culture are coming to light where they’ve been swept under the carpet for far too long. It is a foreign concept to me that anyone would think less of someone or treat them poorly just because of their ethnicity.
It boggles my mind.
It hurts my heart.
I’m grieved that these issues are still very raw and real. I’m grieved for my fellow community members of color who have been fighting these inequities all of their lives. I’m grieved for the ways that I have ignored the problems, or even contributed to them, both by my wrongful action or my inaction.
And I know that such division and hatred and bigotry grieves the heart of God. Issues of injustice and oppression are in direct opposition to God and His love. If we’re truly following God, this sin of bigotry and injustice has no place in our lives.
I believe the prophet Micah’s words ring hauntingly true, a few thousand years after they were written…
Micah 6:8 “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
I don’t know all of the complicated answers to the very complicated issues facing our country today. I don’t have the power or position to affect sweeping change. But I can act justly. I can love mercy. I can walk humbly with God.
There are differences, so many differences in our world. But they don’t need to divide us.
I’m looking for ways, now more than ever, to intentionally put myself in places and relationships where I can learn, grow, and maybe even make a difference as I live to love people to life.
It has to be so much more than just tolerating people who are different than me. I’m envisioning what it means to work in tandem with those around me, whatever the differences, bringing God’s light and life and love as we pursue common goals in His name.
So how about it? Will you seek justice? And mercy? Will you walk humbly with God and others as we, together, bridge the things that tend to divide us?
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