In The Waiting…

I’m learning to be a better ‘wait-er.’

No, not like in a restaurant…  I think I’m getting better at waiting.

I like to be as efficient as possible and get things done, checked off the list, and if I have to wait on something or someone, it can be frustrating.  But I’ve realized that life is made up of a lot of waiting…

…After conception, there are 9 months to wait until birth. 

…Kids take 18 years to grow up (actually longer these days it seems!). 

…We wait in traffic. 

…We wait in checkout lines. 

…We wait for our online purchases to arrive at our doorstep (at least a day!).

…We wait for news from a friend, for someone to answer a text, for dinner to cook… 

…It seems cliché, but there really is so much waiting at the BMV! 

…Many places have whole rooms dedicated to waiting!

We must wait, because things take time.  And although I can’t believe I’m writing this, the longer I live, the more that I’m coming to appreciate the waiting.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love it in the moment, but I’m becoming more and more convinced that there is life to be lived in the waiting.

There’s a line in Henri Nouwen’s book, “The Genesee Diary” that jumped out at me recently… “What strikes me is that waiting is a period of learning.” 

Now, when I’m in line at the BMV, irritated and rehearsing how they could expedite the process, I’m usually not all that interested in learning!  But I think Nouwen was simply making the point that we shouldn’t waste our waiting.  There are things to learned, growth to experience, life to be lived, even as we wait.

I’m not necessarily talking about ‘redeeming the time’ by taking a book with you to the doctor’s office or listening to podcasts on your commute, although those are great ideas.  Instead, I just don’t want to dismiss or disregard the benefits of waiting.  True, deep, quality growth cannot take place in an instant.  There are things to learn as we wait.

Maybe we make waiting harder than it needs to be because we’re so focused on what we’re waiting for, and that we don’t have it yet.  Living and learning in the waiting is about shifting our focus to the here and now, being present in this moment, not so hyper-vigilant to get to the next.

A classic example is the difference between a meal using traditional methods in an oven and on a stove, or using the speed of a microwave.  Sure, the microwave meal is ready much sooner and will (probably) sustain life, but the traditional meal has so much more richness and depth of flavor that just can’t be rushed.

I’m coming to realize that I don’t want a microwave life.

There are so many aspects to life that we can apply this to, most importantly, our relationship with God.  We must be characterized by this learning and depth as we wait for the restoration of all things.  We could run through this life, jumping from experience to experience, trying to do as much as possible.  We could complain that God isn’t moving as fast as we’d like Him to.  We could spend our time waiting on things that mean little, like entertainments and superficial fancies.  But I don’t want to waste the waiting.  I want to invest in the time that I have.  I want to learn, I want to grow, I want to know God more fully.  I want to understand a little more each day what it means to be His child, to follow Him closely, and to help others do the same.

Maybe in a very real sense, life is all about waiting well…

In a week or so, Rebecca and I will celebrate 29 years of marriage.  In a culture of disposable marriage, there is a depth and richness and quality to our relationship that I could not have dreamt of in my 20s.  It has taken time to develop that, to go through hard things and fun things and average days and heartache and euphoria and everything in-between.  It hasn’t felt like waiting for the years to pass.  It has simply been an experience of a deep life together.  I’m sure that the next 29 years will bring much more growth and learning and depth and intimacy that I can’t imagine now.  I can’t wait! 

Well, maybe I can…